Pt 46. Tony, what are you getting yourself into?
[AVENGERS TOWER SECURITY FILES: 03202017 0800hrs]
Loc: AVENGERS TOWER, Broadway & W 58th St, New York, NY
[VIDEO CONFERENCE AVENGERS TOWER/ENTERPRISE NCC1701]
Spock: Mr Stark, this video conference would be more productive if your music could be turned down.
Tony: <sighs, turning off the tunes, turns back to screen> So you’re telling me, that all of these ‘out of towners’ as Fury like to call them, are actually from alternate dimensions? And they’ve come HERE to help us fight Dastardly Donnie? WHY?
Spock: An as of yet undetermined phenomenon has created a ripple effect across dimensions. The impact of this administration is somehow bleeding through the ever thinning barriers. Other dimensions have provided reports of travel bans against Wookies, Cylons and Daleks babbling in Russian, Death Eaters in red caps, vandals spray painting swastikas with the phrase ‘Make Gotham Great Again’. All the oddities and disturbances can be traced back to this dimension.
Tony: What about the Starfleet crews? I thought they were time travelers.
Spock: You are correct. Our Temporal Enforcement Agency has determined that Romulans from our time period have traveled back to assist Russia and HYDRA in their election interference. The resulting changes to the timeline are not yet calculable, though current data suggests that the human race may no longer exist by our time.
Tony: <stands up> Fuck That Shit!
Spock: Agreed. I am quite familiar with human expletives, that one is appropriate to the situation.
Tony: <angrily shakes his head> Not happening on MY watch. This is bigger than I realized. No wonder Fury’s overloaded with visitors. If another world was having an adverse effect on MY HOME, I’d want to hunt down the idiot causing it too.
Spock: That is precisely why they have come. With the thinning of the barriers, the Doctor has been able to cross over and is assisting in shuttling recruits from other dimensions and timelines.
Tony: Yeah, I didn’t believe he existed, until he brought Aunt Peg from ’48.
Spock: Your godmother has been a dedicated agent for the Resistance. Her coordination with grassroots and social media groups has been a strategic advantage. I find her quite logical in her approach.
Tony: Yeah, she just needs to take it easy sometimes. She’s a bit of a workaholic. I’m moving her in here with the rest of the refugees Fury is sending me. I’ve still got to go over the list. I did want to ask, would it be possible for Dr Selar to join our team? She’s been amazing so far, and I have a feeling we’ll need a top notch doc with us from time to time.
Spock: <nods> If that is Dr Selar’s wish, she will be temporarily transferred to your team. Given recent events, it would be most logical for her to accept the transfer to continue monitoring the patients currently in her care. I will discuss this with her and her command on the Enterprise D.
Tony: Thanks, I’ll leave you to that, while I start going over recruit files.
Spock: Acknowledged. Enterprise Out. <transmission winks out on screen>
Tony: <claps his hands together> Ok! Friday! Let’s look at Fury’s misfits.
Friday: <the AI’s lilting Irish brogue coming from everywhere> Sure thing Boss. <holographic dossiers hover in the air before Tony> Just think of it like Tinder.
Tony: Fury said he had a bunch of cats, Pepper’s allergies would go nuts. Nothing that sheds. <a series of files disappear> Hmm, Diana Prince, Demigoddess. Keep her, I want to see someone besides Hulk beat Thor at arm wrestling.
Friday: We’ve yet to hear any word on either Thor or Hulk, Boss.
Tony: Yeah, I know. They’ll show up. All the more reason to have a spare god around in the meantime.
Friday: Just so you’re aware, Boss, the Prince woman is part of a package deal. She comes from a world where they have a team similar to the Avengers. They call themselves the ‘Justice League’.
Tony: <scoffs, picking up a smoothie, taking a drink> ‘Justice League’? Sounds like a DOJ bowling team. Still, pull up the rest of the group and let’s see what they’ve got. <a set of files pop to the center forefront>
Friday: Bruce Wayne- billionaire, playboy, philanthropist. Sounds a wee bit familiar, eh Boss? <Tony rolls his eyes> Shrewd investigator, hand to hand combat expert, and inventor. They say his bank accounts, charm and toys are a match for yours, Boss.
Tony: <skeptical> Uh huh, right. He’s the one running around dressed like a bat?
Friday: One of them. The other is Barbara Gordon. Also highly skilled in hand to hand, acrobatics, and master hacker.
Tony: Nice! Good to have a white hat hacker with us. Who else?
Friday: Selina Kyle- she was the best cat burglar in her dimension. Stealth is her key, and she can unlock just about any lock.
Friday: She’s reformed, turning her talents to helping Wayne and Gordon. Don’t think for a minute that she’s been declawed though, she’ll still scratch your eyes out if you cross her.
Tony: <eyes widen> Ok, gotcha. That’s one kitty I don’t want to cross. Next.
Friday: Rachel Roth, also known as Raven. Half human, half demon, all power. Recommended not to give her a room mate, she has temper issues similar to Dr. Banner.
Tony: So, piss her off and we’ll be redecorating again?
Friday: Essentially, yes. Losing control of her emotions unleashes her demonic heritage.
Tony: <winces> Ok. Good to know. Send the re-model teams the original specs for Banner’s quarters. I want all walls, floors & ceilings in her quarters steel reinforced. Make sure she has access to music, candles, bubble bath, tea, whatever she needs to keep her cool. Guess that scratches the demon hunters off our roster, we’ll send them and the vampire Slayers to the West Coast Avengers location. <a handful of files are marked WCA before blinking off the screen> How many more from this ‘Justice League’?
Friday: Just two. Kara Danvers- an alien with enhanced speed, strength, and flight due to exposure to the sun from their dimension’s Earth. Ours is apparently similar enough to have the same effect.<Tony nods, takes a sip from his drink>
Friday: Lastly, Mera Curry, Queen of Atlantis.
Tony: <chokes on his smoothie> ATLANTIS?! Holy Shit! Fury wasn’t kidding. He found me a GODDAMN MERMAID! <comes to a realization> Friday, <sighs, hanging his head> Cancel Sushi Saturdays.
Friday: Done Boss. Are there any other accommodations you would like me to make for these visitors?
Tony: Not that I can think of at the moment. How many floors of office space are we converting to quarters?
Friday: You originally said three, shall I have the work crews expand the project?
Tony: No, that should be enough for now. It gives us room for a few more. We’ve probably got Dr. Selar, and I want to ask Fury if I can have that FBI liaison, Agent Scully. Let’s see the files we have left.
Friday: Major Valerian, a time and space traveling agent from a space station simply known as ‘Alpha’. <Tony nods> Nausicaa, a princess and warrior from a post apocalyptic world. <Tony gives a thumbs up>
Tony: Sounds good. Any more?
Friday: The rest either do not fit your criteria, or are already on file as current, former, or potential Avengers candidates.
Tony: Do we have room for them all?
Friday: If we converted another floor of office space or reassigned rooms currently unused by inactive Avengers, then yes.
Tony: On second thought then, add another floor to the project, hell make it two just to be sure. We’re not touching anybody’s rooms.
Friday: Including Captain Rogers?
Tony: His room goes on priority lockdown. Nobody opens it but me. <pauses> Or him.
Friday: Understood, Boss.
Tony: Good. How soon will we be ready for moving in day?
Friday: With the additional floors added to the project, estimates are approximately six weeks.
Tony: If we need more workers, hire them. I want that time cut in half. Make sure Aunt Peg’s room is one of the first done, put her on the first floor of residences with the Avengers. I want her close enough to make sure she’s not working herself to death.
Friday: On it Boss.
Tony: Good! I can’t wait to get her out of that damn office.